I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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