some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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