I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
