Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
