Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
