i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Enjoy the penises
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
