Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
