I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
