doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
