Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
