found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize