is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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