Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
