just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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