I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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