She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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