I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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