drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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