my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
this just has baby written all over it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
