Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
