Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
