omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
we made out on top of his cat.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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