people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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