U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
