Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize