I'm gonna have a badass scar
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
