I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
