Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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