I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
