so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
