Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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