come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
