Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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