Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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