True but thats because hes a fetus.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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