ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
