there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
