oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
