i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
