it was like his penis was on wheels.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
