okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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