If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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