We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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