Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
