I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
