You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My vagina just recognized that song.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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