Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
