he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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