So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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