I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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