just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
