Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
