If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Screwed.edu
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
