ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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