Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
