There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
