Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
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