How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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