bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
