so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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