no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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