it was like eating out sand paper
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
