bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
