We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
