Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
