i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
