How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
