how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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