sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
